Saturday, January 7, 2012

Bare Walls...

Its almost 6am here and there is on thing I have decided...I can't sleep without Beau. Since he has been on night call (week one out of two almost down) I have been left to my own devices at night. We were so used to going to bed around 8 or 9 at night each night that this transition has been a difficult one for us both. Beau because he is up all night every night at the hospital and me because I am sitting here, trying to be quiet so as not to wake the neighbors when I could be packing. So why not sleep while he is at work? Well, I tried that and it just doesn't work. I can't sleep without him next to me.

So here I lie on the couch, I am half contemplating turning on the TV just so I can have the "crackling fire" going, but...

I started packing a couple days ago. We had clothes hanging in the closet that we haven't worn since we moved here so I figured those could packed away with all certainty that we weren't going to be needing them. I also took down all the pictures and took everything off the bookshelf. We had amassed a small collection of wine bottles since we've been here and I took those down from atop the cupboards and emptied out a whole cupboard while I was at it. It was getting late though and I was so tempted to just throw it all in a box though and not even bother with sorting through things, totally willing to haul garbage home with us to throw out once we got there. But I did sort and box things carefully, lovingly wrapping all our breakables in sheets and towels. Looking around its a cluttered mess right now (and it drives me nuts) but I can't help but feel a little nostalgic, and a little sad that we are leaving our first place as husband and wife. He carried me over the thresh hold here, and here is where we started our life together, in this teeny tiny 600 square foot apartment with two windows and a door. All of which looking out over...a brick wall and into someone elses living room. As small and overly priced as it is though, we did make it our home, our first home. I will miss my kitchen, I will miss my bathroom, and I will miss the hard wood floors. But I won't miss New York. Afterall, when I leave I am leaving with something amazing. I am leaving with my husband, precious memories, and a little piece of paper proving that our mailing address once said New York, New York.

Onward... Tuesday (bright and early, 4 AM) I am leaving for Laguardia from whence I will be departing to...IOWA. Just the thought of it makes me choke up a little. It never fails, every time we fly home and I look out that teeny window as we are about to touch down I am overcome with this deep sense of this overpowering love for where I come from. I get all teary eyed because no matter how far we go, home is just a plane ride away. Oh I CANNOT wait. I can't wait to see my family and I can't wait to squeeze my dog. I can't wait to be home. To be able to go to the grocery store and take two hours to get two things because everyone knows you and wants to catch up. From there my parents and I are driving up to Janesville to do some housing hunting. I can't wait! Oh its going to feel so good to put down roots, to be in one place for longer than a year. Heavenly...

I am more than ready for this next adventure. But I think after this whole night call business and then being away from Beau for a week, what I am really looking forward to is the drive from New York to Wisconsin with my husband. Time, just the two of us, is what I am really looking forward to.

In Gods Love,

Beau and Kenz


  1. I'm in a rush rush hurry, so can't post all I want here right now, but I'll condense.

    I love you and this post made me tear up at a couple different spots. You and Beau are blessed to have found each other and have such a strong foundation in God that your marriage will be (more than) blessed for so many years to come.

    I love you both!

  2. I know what you mean about not being able to sleep when he is gone. I am the same way! I am so happy for you guys that you got what you were praying for and while living in NY may not be your dream city, it is one experience most will never be able to say they've had. Excited for you both!

  3. eek! So exciting for you! Well, moving and getting closer to home AND being together! We're going through the same process of getting everything off the walls, packing and purging! It's fun, sad and exciting at the same time.

    Good luck in your move and if want, feel free to come help us out :)