Thursday, January 26, 2012

A Hurt Heart...

Perhaps this blog post is a little out of no where, but I just had to write it.

I feel neglected today. We are so close to moving home and closer to all those we love and miss and I am so OVER THE MOON about it, but I can't help but feel a little sadness. I just feel...neglected.

Don't get me wrong, I have friends who I talk to on a daily or weekly basis and I am so thankful to have such dear close friends. I love them with all my heart and when you get as lonely as I had been living here in New York and on my own everyday, having someone just send you a text makes your day. Just a simple "hey!" makes all the difference in the world.

And that being said I know that I have friends that I don't talk to as much as I'd like, but that doesn't mean we're anything less than. I don't know. Beau says sometimes I invest too much in relationships. There are times where I really think he's right just because I do honestly start to feel hurt and neglected when I put so much into a friendship and don't feel like I get it in return. Maybe I just worry too much, but I wish I were able to disconnect as easily as people disconnect from me. Hmmm...

Sorry to be a total Debbie. And with that I think I will take a hot shower and try to get past this icky feeling in my heart.

Saturday, January 21, 2012

The Apartment Sure Is A Lot Louder When There Isn't Anything In It...

Hey all!

I haven't forgotten to write, and even though I know some of my friends are probably wondering where the heck I've been for the past few weeks I can assure you I haven't forgotten about you either. So I guess the best thing I can do at this point is to just blog about what has been going on with Beau and I. Here is goes. It may be a long post so I am warning you now...

Right after Christmas we got the most amazing Christmas blessing, our prayers had been answered and we were moving to Wisconsin, and SOON. This meant only one thing, with Beau being so busy and me being so, well, not busy, I needed to get back to the Midwest ASAP and find us a place to live! So on the 3rd of January I booked a one way flight to Des Moines departing Laguardia on January 10th at 6:30 AM. I had a lot to do in the meantime. Since I wasn't sure when I'd be able to make it back, I started backing almost immediately.

The night I was to leave Beau managed to get a few hours off from work to come home so we could spend some time together before I flew out. It was precious time to say the least since this was the first time since we've been married that we'd been apart and I knew I was going to be away from him for at least a week. Ok yea I know, but I am one of those girls who adores her husband and genuinely enjoys spending every waking moment with him. So I was dreading the trip home and looking forward to it at the same time. Back to the packing...

So I had started packing and there were boxes and papers laying all over the place. Beau and I were sitting on the couch and we knew that our land lord was going to start bringing potential renters around to check out the apartment. He calls: "is it ok if I bring someone up to see the apartment?" Beau: "yea sure Mitch, just give us a heads up cause we're in the middle of packing and its kinda a mess." Mitch: " 5 minutes ok?" I heard him on the other side and I think I blew something pinged in my head. Me: "SHIIIIIIIIIIIITTTTTTT" as I jumped up and threw on some clothes and made a futile attempt to clean up the pizza boxes and pop cans.

So he came up and had someone with him and I could hear Beau all the way down the stairs apologizing over and over for the mess. Luckily, the person checking out the place was so nice and kind and said she understood that we were moving and she actually appreciated seeing the place with furniture and things in it. And our ever gracious land lord didn't even bat an eye. Hes been so great to us. But still, I don't want people to think I am a slob. even if I will only see them for 5 minutes out of my entire life and not even receive a formal introduction.

Beau drove me to the airport around 3 in the morning and it was a hard goodbye. I have to say I have gotten to the point where I cannot sleep without him. Where it was absolutely invigorating to be home, to see my family and snuggle my dog, it just didn't have the enjoyment without him there with me. What can I say? He's my best friend.

Tuesday-Arrive at DSM at 11:40am and greeted by a very happy daddy, he drops me off at home, and my mom and I (and Oliver) conk out on my bed. I sleep til 5pm... (I had gone about three days on about 12 hours sleep)

Wednesday- Wake up late, make an appointment to have my eyes checked and to get new glasses. Its been about two years and I can't really see the TV anymore, much less see to drive at night, so I guess now is the time. So I call Wal-Mart and the eye doctor wasn't in. RATS. I drive up anyway because I have been needing to get my SS card changed. Make an appointment, take a number and wait, and...RATS AGAIN, they don't take photo-copies. ERG wasted trip... I head home, apartment and job hunt the rest of the afternoon and then my dear friend Jenna stopped over.

Thursday- My mom and I head down to the fire station to make sandwiches for all the guys for the county meeting and then head over to the theater. The Weiting looks amazing. For all of you who read this who are in my home town area, PLEASE stop in and see it when it opens. The theater guild is planning a bunch of fun events in the future and they even have a new 3D projector! Stop in and see the amazing change!

The weather starts to get dicy Thursday night and I am a little worried because I had about a dozen appointments that weekend to check places out. Hmm. And yet again, the Lord pulls us through...

Friday- Wake up and hit the road with mom and dad. Despite the foreboding weather forecast, the roads were perfect and it was an enjoyable, quick, and easy trip over. We start seeing signs for Janesville just as soon as we cross over the bridge and I start bouncing up and down in my seat. We get into town with a couple of hours to spare and as dad checks us in to the hotel the front desk manager tells us that she knows of an apartment for rent. So (in true Midwest hospitable fashion) the handy man offers to drive us over and take a look at the place. We head over and check out the apartment and as we leave we drive past a town house for rent. So I called and made an appointment for the next day. Come to find out this place was only a block away from the town house we were to meet with at 4:30. Saweet! And dad was pretty excited that it was right up the street from one of his favorite restaurants. We met with the person I had an appointment with and I have to say I fell in love with the place. It was huge, in our price range, and what was even better was that it was PET FRIENDLY. I almost signed that night but told her to be fair I had other appointments and I would get back to her ASAP. The next morning we got up early as the weather was to get bad and we just drove around the town to get a feel for it. We drove by one of the places I was to look at but decided it wasn't going to work (kinda nasty in a not so nice neighborhood and the inside was...hmm...a bit damaged, used, and abused) so I called the town house we happened across and asked if we could meet early because we wanted to get back to beat the weather. She met with us at 10 and from the moment we drove into the driveway I had a feeling about the place. To make an already long story a wee bit shorter, its ours! We applied and were accepted and now officially have a new address much closer to home. Even though we aren't allowed pets, my parents have been so gracious as to allow Oliver to live with them for one more year. Breaks my heart, but hes only three hours away now and I can see him on the weekends.

This place was a total blessing from the Lord. We have felt so displaced here and when I walked in the door of our new town home it felt like home. Did I mention its right across the road from the church I have been researching and every place that we would normally shop at is within minutes? Not to mention Beau is a mere 13 minutes from work? Yes, this is truly a blessing.

We got back Saturday night and I headed over to see my "other mama." We had coffee and chatted for a few hours. It was so nice, I always love to see her and talk to her. She has such a gift of words. She just knows how to make me feel better a lot of the times. I am blessed with not only one mom, but three.

The rest of my time home was nice. I just stayed home. It was GREAT. Snuggled with my beagle and just...stayed home. But I was missing my husband and Wednesday couldn't come soon enough. Got in to LGA Wednesday night and basically smothered Beau in kisses. Oh my GOSH how I missed him... Thursday I finished packing and then Friday Beau got off around 10am. He was home a little after I got up and we spent the day together. Beau's dad got here last night, loaded up all our stuff this morning and headed back to the Midwest.

It has been an extremely busy month and its not over yet. The apartment is very empty and it kind of makes me sad in a way that our New York chapter is coming to an end. I know most of these postings have been about how much I hate it here and how much we miss home, but I have to admit it has been a very beautiful chapter. New York has been so good for us. We've learned to depend on each other, and to lean on God above all others. We've seen some amazing things and events that are a part of daily life for Beau and I while living here are things that some people may envy. Please don't misunderstand me when I say that. I simply mean that Beau and I have been truly blessed and New York has been a very positive experience for us, hindsight being what it is. So I can safely say, if given the opportunity to do it over again, I can't say I'd do things any differently. We have made so many wonderful memories here.

So the rest of the weekend we're just going to hang out. Next week is our last week here. Our last week as New Yorkers...hmmm...there is still so much I want to see and do.

I better dig around for some batteries!

In Gods Love,

Beau and Kenz

Saturday, January 7, 2012

Bare Walls...

Its almost 6am here and there is on thing I have decided...I can't sleep without Beau. Since he has been on night call (week one out of two almost down) I have been left to my own devices at night. We were so used to going to bed around 8 or 9 at night each night that this transition has been a difficult one for us both. Beau because he is up all night every night at the hospital and me because I am sitting here, trying to be quiet so as not to wake the neighbors when I could be packing. So why not sleep while he is at work? Well, I tried that and it just doesn't work. I can't sleep without him next to me.

So here I lie on the couch, I am half contemplating turning on the TV just so I can have the "crackling fire" going, but...

I started packing a couple days ago. We had clothes hanging in the closet that we haven't worn since we moved here so I figured those could packed away with all certainty that we weren't going to be needing them. I also took down all the pictures and took everything off the bookshelf. We had amassed a small collection of wine bottles since we've been here and I took those down from atop the cupboards and emptied out a whole cupboard while I was at it. It was getting late though and I was so tempted to just throw it all in a box though and not even bother with sorting through things, totally willing to haul garbage home with us to throw out once we got there. But I did sort and box things carefully, lovingly wrapping all our breakables in sheets and towels. Looking around its a cluttered mess right now (and it drives me nuts) but I can't help but feel a little nostalgic, and a little sad that we are leaving our first place as husband and wife. He carried me over the thresh hold here, and here is where we started our life together, in this teeny tiny 600 square foot apartment with two windows and a door. All of which looking out over...a brick wall and into someone elses living room. As small and overly priced as it is though, we did make it our home, our first home. I will miss my kitchen, I will miss my bathroom, and I will miss the hard wood floors. But I won't miss New York. Afterall, when I leave I am leaving with something amazing. I am leaving with my husband, precious memories, and a little piece of paper proving that our mailing address once said New York, New York.

Onward... Tuesday (bright and early, 4 AM) I am leaving for Laguardia from whence I will be departing to...IOWA. Just the thought of it makes me choke up a little. It never fails, every time we fly home and I look out that teeny window as we are about to touch down I am overcome with this deep sense of this overpowering love for where I come from. I get all teary eyed because no matter how far we go, home is just a plane ride away. Oh I CANNOT wait. I can't wait to see my family and I can't wait to squeeze my dog. I can't wait to be home. To be able to go to the grocery store and take two hours to get two things because everyone knows you and wants to catch up. From there my parents and I are driving up to Janesville to do some housing hunting. I can't wait! Oh its going to feel so good to put down roots, to be in one place for longer than a year. Heavenly...

I am more than ready for this next adventure. But I think after this whole night call business and then being away from Beau for a week, what I am really looking forward to is the drive from New York to Wisconsin with my husband. Time, just the two of us, is what I am really looking forward to.

In Gods Love,

Beau and Kenz

Tuesday, January 3, 2012

On The Road Again...


Yes, today we received the phone call that we have been dying to get. The one we have been praying so diligently for.

We found out today that are indeed moving to Wisconsin, and in just a few weeks!!!!! So next week I am flying back to Iowa to have my parents drive me up to Wisconsin so we can find a place to live and I can get some job applications submitted.

Praise the Lord he is SO GOOD!!!!!!!

Lots to do. Lots and lots to do and I will be PLENTY busy, but this is what we have been begging the Lord for. Thank you Father!!!!!!!!

And thank you all for praying for Beau and I, especially when we wanted to turn tail and leave NY. It is because of prayer that we have been so blessed.

In Gods Love,

Beau and Kenz

Monday, January 2, 2012


Granted it is already the 2nd, but I wanted to wish you all a HAPPY NEW YEAR even if it is a little late.

Being in New York lots of people have asked if we went to Times Square to watch the ball drop. This is how we watch the ball drop...

From the comfort and security of our own home. Beau and I aren't big on crowds and after nearly getting separated and trampled at Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade, I was more than happy to skip the excitement in the city, and watch it on our computer where it was nice and warm and...quiet. I know...we're so old...

It was so nice though. Just the two of us watching movies and drinking wine and just enjoying ringing in the New Year together. I was SO thankful that he didn't have to work that night.

I don't like Lady Gaga as a rule, but it was kinda neat watching her "drop the ball" and dance with the mayor...

Beau started his first night of night call last night. Changing the sleeping pattern is hard and all I want to do is sleep. Thank goodness its only for two weeks. He drove the first night, but as he was stopped at a red light someone tried to get in the front seat with him. So its back to the subway commute.

We are anxiously awaiting news from Wisconsin. I hope they get back to us very soon. We're ready to move back to the Midwest. I miss my family and friends, my mom's eggs and hash breakfast, our dog, and not having to worry about something confusing you for a taxi driver.

Here's to 2012!!! Blessings to you all!

In God's Love,

Beau and Kenz