I'm So Charlotte

I am looking out the window and noticing that the leaves are falling like snow flakes. So that can only mean one thing, winter is on its way. And if that isn't indicator enough, the temperature is. Yesterday it was in the mid 60's and I had the windows WIDE open. Now as I sit here wrapped in a blanket with a candle, its 48 out. And I hate it.

So with the on coming winter I am cringing. I was on the phone with my sister yesterday and we were talking about the cold weather ahead and I was thinking, no, dreading the fact that we are spending another winter here. Last year I felt like the walls were closing in on me but at least I had classes that I was working on. This year I am desperately seeking employment.

Over the summer I put my resume into countless places that I knew would be resume builders for me. Not even a nibble. I tried The Metropolitan Museum of Art, The New York Public Library, Christies, and The American Museum of Natural History. All these places I was SO excited about! I thought how AWESOME would that be? I am so Charlotte.

Back to the phone conversation with my sister...I told her I had been putting in applications various places and she suggested that I join some kind of club. I cringed at the thought of it because I am shy. I am shy with strangers and the idea of joining a club here in NY makes me feel like this move is even more permanent, like I need to start making friends because I will never see my other friends ever again. And partly because I did, for a moment, entertain the notion of joining a book club, a women's club. And then I had visions of Sex and the City and I was thinking to myself how extremely sad it would be for me if I did.

In college my dearest girlfriends and I watched that show ALL THE TIME and we always talked about how cool it would be if we all went to NYC together some time. Well, now I am here and they are scattered to the four winds (well, three winds). We even decided which one of us was most like each character. If you know me, and if you've ever seen the show, well...I was the one who was most like Charlotte.

I miss my Carrie, Miranda, and Samantha and I just can't do a book club with out you here. The next couple months will go by fast though and then we are OUT of here.

Hmm...maybe I should look into Starbucks...

In Gods Love,

Beau and Kenz