Hello Old Friend, I've missed you...

Yesterday was September 23rd. Check your calendars. What does it say? "First day of Autumn." Hello my dear old friend, I've missed you.

It is my most favorite time of year. Everything is beautiful, everything is bright and brilliant. I love everything about the season: the colors, the smells, the CLOTHES, the days that make you want to stay inside and look out the window, and even the days that make you want to run outside and soak up the last bit of sun that the year will offer. I love the excitement of football, the sweaters, hats, and gloves that people bundle up in while they cradle hot chocolate or coffee in their hands. I love the promise of the oncoming Thanksgiving holiday. Its a time where loved ones come together and eat, eat, EAT and just enjoy each other's company. I love the Macy's Thanksgiving day parade, I love harvest, I love the pumpkins popping up every where in the garden, and I love...well, everything about it.

I can't believe how fast the year has gone. About this time last year Beau and I were snuggling into our apartment in Toledo and I was (as always) decorating for my most favorite time of year. Here is a snippet of what I did last year:


One of my favorite family fall traditions is picking apples. Last year Beau and I went picking apples for the first time:

We even bought some pumpkins and carved them for Halloween:

This is always a happy time of year for me. This fall is going to be one of the best ever. 2 more weeks and Beau will be home, 20 more days and I will be walking down the aisle to start the rest of my life with the most amazing man the Lord has ever created, and this Thanksgiving my HUSBAND and I have plans to go to the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade with our beautiful sister and brother in law followed by a Thanksgiving feast at our apartment. Yes I am planning a big ole Thanksgiving feast complete with beautiful festive decorations! What better way to spend the holiday than with our amazing family.

I am so glad you are back Autumn. I've missed you.

Back from a brief respite

Hello everyone!

As Jenna kindly reminds me, I have not written in quite some time. Boy have I been busy I have been home a full month now and it doesn't even seem possible. I don't know where the time went.

I will start off at the beginning of the adventure between leaving New York for a kick ass road trip with my sisters and our wedding...

Princeton, NJ to Toledo, IA. Departure Time: 4:00pm Eastern Time- Arrival Time: 2:00pm Central Time. Trip Duration: 27 hours STRAIGHT. A few things:
1) the Catskills are BEAUTIFUL and I highly recommend that EVERYONE sees Pennsylvania at least once in their lifetime
2) South Tama done me wrong when it came to Geography. And here is why I say that... Me: (to Beau and Sarah) "Its a 12-15 hour drive from here (meaning New York) to Toledo I looked it up on google maps" Beau and Sarah just look at each other and then look at me. Sarah: "um..." (with a 'you're such a dumb ass' look on her face) Beau: "oh yea? How did you come up with that? (being as sweet as he can) Me: "well it said on google maps that would only take about 15 hours and I was guessing that Chicago is only a 6 hour drive from here because it takes roughly 6 hours to get to Chicago from Toledo." Somewhere in my head that made sense. This is what I learned from THIS: It takes 7-8 hours ALONE to get through PA non-stop. You do the math. AND, Beau and Sarah I think just go along with a lot of what I say sometimes.
3) The train station is indeed a very dramatic place. Leaving Beau there reminded me of the old black and white movies. I thought about running after the train. But the lack of steam made it less dramatic and there was no theme music playing in the back ground so what's the point?
4) Sarah and Jaqui are two of the BEST people to go on a long road trip with. I love those ladies even more because when you have 27 hours to kill, you really get to know someone.
5) The Bermuda Triangle is NOT located over the ocean somewhere, it is right there in Illinois. (We got lost and added 4 hours to the trip)

Once we were home wedding planning got into full swing. It has been a little more stressful trying to get everything done while in New York, but now that I am home and close to everyone and every thing the process has been much smoother and I am ready to marry the man of my dreams. Time consuming? Yes, but its going to be everything I could have ever hoped for and I am just anxious to see all our loved ones and share this day with them.

And since wedding planning has been so time consuming, I have not spent a MOMENT on grad school. Not a single moment. However, I was inspired today to actually get that stinking resume done. The one that rears it ugly head and reminds you that you are indeed a college graduate and that (like it or not) the government is going to want you to start paying back your dues in 6 short months. Why can't I just click my heels together and automatically be placed in my dream job telling them just what my terms are? Soon enough...

Thats pretty much the skinny for right now. How are all of you?!

Proverbs 16:9

..."the mind of man plans his way, but the LORD directs his steps."

Not too long ago I subscribed to this online devotional for couples. I though it was the best way for Beau and I to have our own church services since we have yet to find a church that fits us here. And I think its a remarkable way to get to know each others hearts even more and really grow as a couple. When I subscribed, I also subscribed for this devotional for "20 something women." There have been more than a few times where reading this devotional (directed at women in this age group) has really opened my eyes to a lot of things we face as women at this age and there have been many times where the writer has felt much like I have at times. Its so refreshing. I highly recommend it. If you would like to check it out sometime let me know and I will facebook you the link!

Today the writer (named Shannon) was talking about how she had just turned 29 and how she felt like putting a "9" at the end of her age felt so final, like she was closing that whole stage of life. She talked about how she made a list when she was 19 of how she wanted her life to turn out and how there were times where she felt she had failed because so many things were left un-done. However, she also mentioned how she felt she was growing lately because she was able to look past her list that she made so many years ago and realize that, at this point in her life, her past had taken her in a different direction and now those dreams she had set out for herself weren't so important anymore.

Wow...it makes me think of where I have been in my life for the past three years. I knew I wanted to marry Beau pretty much from the moment I met him. I knew I wanted to be an architect since I was in grade school, and I knew I wanted to live in Iowa. There is never a day that goes by that Beau and I didn't wish we were back home but look at where we are now.

Him leaving the country for school was possibly the hardest thing I have ever gone through in my life. But even in such a hard and difficult time, there was a silver lining to it all. Beau is almost graduated, we are getting married in October, and our relationship is so strong...stronger than anything I know and I know with all my heart that if the Lord wouldn't have lead him there, we probably wouldn't have the incredible relationship we have now. Thank you Lord.

I am not an architect. In fact, I will be getting my undergrad just shy of age 26. Why did I screw around for so many years? Why did I not just get my act together in my "early" 20's, buckle down, and stick it out? If I would have I possibly would be an architect by now or I would maybe have my master's in architectural history. Instead I am 25 and ready to tear my hair out because I don't have my dream job. I don't have a job period. Yet, there are many things I need to be thankful for. When I made the decision to leave school for awhile to pursue a different field of study I felt like I was backed into a corner and fighting my way out. ISU was getting to be too much, and I just needed to re-group. Looking back I am glad I did it. Once again it made Beau and I really appreciate each other and fight for what we had. It gave me a chance to learn new things about myself and really discover my independence. I met so many new people and made some great friends in nursing school and the fact that I was home made me reconnect with those I had been friends with in high school and grew those relationships as well. Thank you Lord for the amazing people in my life and thank you for where I am now and all the amazing things I have done and seen. It was not my plan, but it was yours and I couldn't be happier.

Recently Beau and I were trying very hard to get home as soon as possible. We even considered transferring schools so we could get back to Iowa. We thought long and hard about it and prayed so diligently that the Lord would send us back. But I feel, so strongly, that we need to be here. We need to make New York work, and we need to rely on each other and Him to make this a great experience for us. I feel as though here is where we are preparing for the rest of our life together and even though we would MUCH rather be home and closer to friends and family who have been our constant support system, we have a peace now that the Lord is going to do amazing things in us while we are here, maybe even use us in ways that we couldn't really be used at home. And for that we are thankful.

So I guess what it comes down to is this: even if we feel like we have the ideal life planned out for ourselves we have to not fight what God wants for us. It may seem safe and more certain to do things our own way, but it never is, and its never half as rewarding as when we just let Him be our GPS. There are so many roads we want to go down in life that seem sunny and straight, and a lot easier on our cars but its not near as fun and exciting when we take the "road less traveled" no matter how bumpy and scary it may SEEM at first. This is something I have to remind myself everyday. I need to remember that life really never turns out how you planned but better.

2:43 am, Ranting to my Adoring Fans...

Well, its EARLY (or late) and instead of drifting off to dream land along side my slumbering fiance (who has been out to the world for 5 and a 1/2 hours now) I am up.

Tonight was going to be different. I was going to try and break this habit I have gotten into. This insomniac lifestyle I have adopted since we moved here. It was pushing 11 here and instead of reading the 2 billion pages I have to have read by friday to take my exam, AND instead of completing a writing assignment due on the same day, I decided to procrastinate. Its what I do. I have become the QUEEN of procrastination. I have realized that now that the blinding light at the end of the tunnel inevitably means that repayment of student loans will commence in a short 6 months, I am dragging my feet. Why? Who knows why. Why would one possibly burn out when the end was so near. New mantra? "You are done in a month" Sometimes I wonder to myself if I really want to further pursue my endeavors in higher education and then I remember that now is when I actually begin to APPLY all that I have wasted countless hours and money on for the past 6 YEARS! I stand corrected. There is no applying what I have learned to the outside world, instead it is merely a VERY costly piece of paper. Oh well, on to bigger and better things and 10 years from now when I have the career that I have wanted since I was 10 will be well worth it right?

Part of my procrastination tonight was this little thing we call youtube. I love youtube. I hate youtube. I am STEWING over youtube tonight. It has let me down. I am not one for remembering passwords and sign on names. I have too damn many of them and they are all different and it is impossible to remember them all. It is because of this that I have never, EVER signed out of my youtube account for fear of not being able to remember the shit needed to sign back in. It happened tonight. I went to listen to Bee Gee's (yes Bee Gee's) and I look up into the corner. The right hand corner that tells you you are indeed signed in and all your "favorites" are right there at your finger tips. To my HORROR I went to my favorites list and NOTHING. OVER 100 FAVORITES GONE! After a great deal of cussing like a sailor in my head I decided to just start the whole process over again. This occurred at 1 am. At 2 am I had managed to remember most of what was on my favorites and began to fall asleep at the wheel. So I decided to go lay down and deal with it in the morning. But as I snuck into a very cold bedroom and slid under the covers into a very warm bed and curled up alongside Beau I thought how I hadn't blogged in forever and how my faithful readers are probably wondering why I hadn't been faithful. I know that my readers LOVE to read my blog and that if I had the proper knowledge on how to really do a blog the right way, complete with slide shows and a spot for emails from my fans begging for more reading material, I would undoubtedly be sorting through thousands of requests for a new posting. How could I let you down?

So despite it now being 3:02 in the morning I wanted to write. Here it is:

Usually when I see the Ice Cream Lady heading down the street in Toledo I think "how quaint." I think Leave It To Beaver and how absolutely PERFECT it is that a small farm town in Iowa has an Ice Cream Truck. When I hear the music I get all giddy, dig for spare change, and stand out on the corner waiting for her to pull up. New York is different. The fact that the ice cream man plays his music until after dark freaks me out. I also think its insane that he charges $2 for a baby cone. I also think its creepy that he parks down at the park. Funny anecdote for you though, the other day while I was walking back from the grocery store the Ice Cream truck was indeed parked in its same predatorial spot playing its music to the kiddies like the Pied Piper and I look up and barreling down the road is ANOTHER Ice Cream truck. I began to play out the scenario in my head: Ice Cream Truck #1 found out that Ice Cream Truck #2 makes a KILLING of this prime location and so he gets up before dawn and stakes his claim on the corner. Ice Cream Truck #2 catches wind that someone has encroached on his turf. Ice Cream Truck #2 races to location. There is a standoff in the street. Ice Cream Man vs. Ice Cream Man. Its an all out turf war. (end scene) Ok so it was hilarious to me. I guess you had to have been there.

So there you have it. I am tapped out for the night but I promise that I will be more on top of this whole blog thing, that is AFTER I re-add all my favorites to youtube :D

A friend

"Even though we've changed, and we are all finding our place in the world, we all know that when the tears fall or the smile spreads across our face, we'll come to each other because no matter where this crazy world takes us, nothing will ever change so much to the point where we are not all still friends." -anonymous

"The friend who can be silent with us in the moment of confusion or despair, who can stay with us in an hour of grief or bereavement, who can tolerate not knowing...not healing, not curing, that is a friend who cares." - Henri Nouwen

"Are you upset little friend? Have you been lying awake worrying? Well, don't worry...I'm here. The flood waters will recede, the famine will end, the sun will shine tomorrow, and I will always be here to take care of you." -Charlie Brown to Snoopy

I don't know how many of my friends actually read this, but I wanted to write this anyway.

I have a friend, a dear sweet friend who had to move very far away and (as what happens when you grow up and start lives of your own) we began to loose touch. There was never a time where I wanted or intended to loose touch but it just happened. And today I got the most beautiful email from that friend reminding me that no matter how far apart we are we are always apart of eachother's lives and that nothing will ever change that.

I have been blessed. Moving so far from home has not been easy for me. But even as I write this I realize how far home actually is. Home is where the heart is to be sure. But my home is scattered all over the country, and even all over the world. My dearest, most beloved friends have scattered to the four winds. I have friends in Austin, TX Omaha, NE Kansas City, MO Tama, IA Chariton, IA Ames, IA Pierre, SD and even Busan, North Korea. Its crazy to me how when you are little you have your best friend and you swear that you'll never move away and that you'll always live right down the street and that you can always have slumber parties whenever you want. Even when you reach college you feel the same way. And even, EVEN, when you live thousands of miles away from those friends, you still feel like you want to live right down the street from them, and that you can have slumber parties whenever you want. At 25 I feel the same way I did when I was 5 and 15, you have your friends and they are ALWAYS with you.

We are grown ups now. And our lives have taken us to various places and we've had different experiences but once upon a time we were 5, 10, 15, 20... and we promised each other we'd always be there for each other.

I've laughed and cried with each and every one of you and there is no one who could be more dear to me as you.

And no matter how far apart we are I promise I am always here for you. Don't worry, don't be upset. I'll be the Charlie Brown to your Snoopy.

So here is to all my beautiful friends, ones I have known for 20 years and ones I have known for 2. I love you and I am always here for you. Near or far.

Karen, Shannon, Jenna, Helen, Erin, Sarah, Courtney, Kim, Amy...I miss you guys.

Rambling at 2:30 in the morning...

Only a week ago the weather channel had promised rain and thunderstorms all the way up until May 26th. He was wrong. I guess summer has finally reached our neighborhood and not a moment too soon. It's been in the 80's here all week and I have celebrated by opening the windows wide and leaving the door open while the sunlight and sounds of jack hammers poor into our tiny apartment.

I needed this lift of spirits. Things have been overwhelming as of late and I have the feeling the rest of 2011 is going to fly by and we are going to be left standing wondering where it slipped away to. Its been a crazy year to say the least; cross country move, loss of a loved one, hardships, additions to the family, graduations, weddings, more moving, starting graduate school...its hard to believe we've been here almost 6 months already. We only have a month left on our lease and then we move (again) to parts unknown. Where will you send us this time Lord?

I have gotten into the bad habit of late nights again and perhaps that is the reason for the rambling now. 2:30. I should be in bed but instead I am up with thoughts shaking around in my head. I really should start keeping a note pad next to the bed. They say that helps when you can sleep.

So does Ramelteon.

Is May considered a summer month?

Well, Beau and I had been counting down the days til we could return to Iowa and be close to our loved ones. We made it to the day and ticked off two more weeks and now we're back in New York. Two weeks was not near long enough.

I had heard that it had been warm in Iowa prior to our visit. Scratch that, HOT, prior to our visit. You could imagine how disappointed I was when we arrived in Iowa to see trees that barely had any leaves on them yet and experience temps that were far from...well...hot. Most of the time we were home I was in jeans and a sweatshirt and it wasn't until the last day we were home did I finally have a reason to dawn something lighter, appropriate for the typical Iowa summer temperatures. And then we get back to New York...

We leave the baggage claim and are immediately struck by a warm breeze that is uncharacteristic of the New York that we know. As we ride down the expressway towards our apartment there is a sea of green. The leaves have FINALLY budded out and our driver tells us that it was 95 there the day before and that it had been hot the whole time we were gone. Summer has come to New York.

There are birds EVERYWHERE! I love birds. Love them. They are flying and singing and they are all just so darn cute. The cute like in a cartoon movie where they land on your finger and sing to you. Fluffy, puffy, looking all sweet and innocent. My black bird is now a blue bird, I need a touch up...

Well, I must run for the time being. It is May, it is warm, and we are in New York. I might have to do some much needed sight seeing